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Christan women dating

Acknowledging my lack of surety frees me from all these expectations, conscious or unconscious, subtle or not subtle, that come from the people around me.

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That would be awesome, but it's not always realistic. "If you are a Christian, God isn't a piece of your pie. Why date someone who doesn't even have God as a piece of the pie? Have a List of Values and Don't Compromise Them If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off-ramp. Regardless of my youth, at some point in my later teens—later than many girls—I began thinking about boys. The heat really turns up during college though, especially at a Christian college, when it seems a lot of girls are dating and quite a number (definitely not the majority, but at least more than makes you feel normal) are getting married or prepping for marriage. And like I said, who knows; there’s a good chance I’ll meet a great guy and end up with a ring on my finger. But I realize now what it feels like to be genuinely unsure where I want to go in life. This pressure comes from mostly good intentions, but not all women are going to embrace it. And I suppose I now have to say that this applies to me; otherwise I would be lying. And obviously I’m still quite young; I don’t think I entirely know myself yet, nor do I yet have the emotional maturity to make the decision about if I should get married or not. So the odds aren’t as good as maybe everyone around me expects them to be. I don’t have a desire to conform, to date, to get married just because my community promotes it like crazy.Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: You will drift away from God or your spouse will become a functional god (more on this later). There is another dangerous mentality in Christian circles I want to address ... "flirting to convert."Look, Christians are called to be missionaries. And discovering one flaw means it's time to move on.

But the beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws.

Is there pressure for women—especially Christian women—to date, to at some point marry, and to most likely have kids? No, there is nothing wrong with dating, or marriage, or parenting. Because I think there is pressure both in the church and in the world—though perhaps more from the church. At least for people like me who are prone to over-thinking things. At any rate, I’m not ruling it out, but I’m certainly not ruling it in either, at least not at this point.

I’m sure many women married not wanting kids, and later wanted them. For those who are unsure about marriage, but very aware of it and the possibilities of it, even any mention of a future hypothetical husband or kids can be cause for too much thought and anxiety.

Whether or not one has kids is dependent upon many things, including how one’s attitude toward mothering changes after marriage.

That is not a bad thing, and for those girls who are prepping for marriage, or married--good for you. Now that I’m thinking about it seriously, I have no desire to rush into it. Part of me lives in fear of being a “spinster,” of course.

Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus could alter the lives of men and women by keeping them out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages).