skip to content »

Dating a womans point of view

Yet from time to time, I find it necessary to write from a woman’s point of view when telling a story.So I asked some of my female readers to give some advice on how to write from a woman’s point of view. One of the biggest mistakes I see male writers make is that they don’t understand the close friendships women have with other women.

This is true and it’s yet another reason to focus on the free sites and consider paid sites a secondary option, since most guys on the free sites are chodes who aren’t very fierce competition for you.This week, Dave approaches the problem men may have creating believable female characters.Given his self-admitted gender impairment, Dave asked for help. Excerpts: I’m not a woman, and I don’t pretend to understand them.I got a lot of responses, and I’m going to share it, along with the attributions to the authors. M Erickson says: In my experience, men are linear thinkers – one thing at a time and in straight lines of logic and angles. Women think in circles and all the circles are connected and contain relationships and emotions. 1) Have your women get emotional about what they really care about (if you can’t do this, don’t bother writing from female POV) 2) Give women in the story powerful reasons for what they do. I’ve joked about how Ted Bundy’s friends had no idea he was a serial killer, he was just someone to play basketball with.I like the fact that I heard from quite a few women. The one that motivates women the most and rings truest is love (True love…) 3) Don’t spend all your time describing violence – you can only spend so much time mentally fondling someone’s splattered entrails before it becomes boring AND disgusting. Remember, female drive is wired to how a man makes her feel emotionally (appreciated, cherished, happy, etc.) 5) Write a woman’s character strong enough so she isn’t dependent on a man to save her. If Ted Bundy had been a woman, her friends would have known (if she’d had any friends).I’m sure that each of them is an individual, so the advice from one doesn’t necessarily express the views of an entire gender: . Women, (generally) physically weaker, need an added measure of brain power to compensate for lack of muscle. Women’s friendships can be closer than their romantic relationships and women become intimate by talking, and they talk about everything.

If a women has no female friends, this means something’s very wrong (though sometimes, the wrong thing is only that she’s, say, a genius in a tiny town and doesn’t fit in, in which case she’ll be fine if she moves somewhere with a broader group of people to interact with). I’m a gal who’s always been the only girl in the clubhouse from the age of 2 onwards, so I get along very well with guys.

If you’ve been thinking about joining an online dating site and have been afraid, don’t be. You never know who you may meet on there who’s path you may have never crossed in person otherwise.

Dave Farland’s comments about writing believable male characters started a brisk conversation in the comments here and, apparently, Dave received lots of communications directly.

(And I think a lot of people would list Bujold’s Miles Vorkosigan as an all-time favorite male character, to show the reverse.) . I remember when I hit a growth spurt and a man told me I was getting “big”. ) I remember the male coworker that told me I had big hands, and the boy in high school who told me my butt was getting jiggly after the end of basketball season (and I wasn’t exercising enough, apparently). =o) I’ve read some female characters written by male authors, some very well known and very successful male authors, and I cringe.

I have been blessed with a man who does not point out my flaws, and who also encourages me to stop being obsessed with being thin, young, beautiful, etc. One story has a woman in it that is so annoying, I just want to slap her.

The chances of these men/women cheating on you are just as high as any other. **An added benefit for women** For the most part, we have all been raised thinking that men have to be the initiators in a courtship and have thick enough skin (for the most part) to withstand rejection.