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Invalidating childhood

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Negative evaluations (personal criticisms, opinions) by another especially at times of stress can cause extreme upset.

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I think the major cause of the development of a lot of my problems is the fact that I was sexually abused as a child. I started to develop intense social phobia when I was a child, and everyone would brush it off as being just shyness that needed to be overcome by exposure.You begin to introspect and ask, 'Is there something wrong with me? You may accept this false evaluation - perhaps because of the authority or dominance of the other person.' When another person wrongly evaluates or misunderstands your communications or your state of mind, naturally this is upsetting. If you ignore your own feelings and believe they must be right, you begin to follow their will, not your own.Because the child has such strong emotional responses to situations that others might not react to, their emotions are more likely to be invalidated.If a parent or caregiver interprets the child's responses as overreactions, they are likely to respond with behaviors that discourage the emotional response.Further, that child may miss the opportunity to learn how to manage their emotions effectively, which may lead to more emotion dysregulation down the road...................

there is some strong evidence of a connection between childhood maltreatment and BPD (various forms of maltreatment, i.e, emotional neglect and physical abuse, are inherently invalidating of emotions).

A part of you has identified with the other person and split from the real you. This very commonly occurs with children, where they take on the characteristics of their parents.

It is also very frequent in relationships where one partner adjusts to match the other's expectations. When our goals are suppressed by another - however well meant - it is eventually life destroying.

At one point when I was in the 2nd grade, after my mom's suicide attempt, the social workers were considering taking me away because my mom was suspected of sexually abusing me (hehe)…

so it was conveyed to me that displaying signs of emotional distress could result in me being taken away from my mommy which seemed like a fate worse than death back when I didn't know any better.

I also learned at an early age that being sensitive and crying easily only invoked sadistic urges in other children and I was abused a lot because of that throughout all my school years…